Right Now.....

Right Now.....I really should be studying for my Final tomorrow in Advanced Accounting. But my mind is racing with thoughts and my heart is hurting. I'm just really in need of a getaway. It doesn't even have to be an actual getaway to another city or state....it just needs to be a getaway from thoughts, hurts, fears, worries, procrastination, etc....I need a refresher. I need to regenerate. And I don't know how to do it. I feel like I can't do anything right.....as a mother, as a wife, as an employee, as a friend, as a student, as a freakin' Human Being sometimes. I'm sick of judgmental people who don't take a second to examine their own needs and desires before criticizing someone else for theirs. I expect to be taken seriously! I expect respect!! I expect tolerance to the same degree that I would offer! I expect some leeway!! Give me a break.....I'm doing all I can do....and some days I'm not so successful, but EVERYDAY I have my God at my right hand helping me through it. I am working on some things.....some things harder than I ever dreamed I would. Give me Time....Give me Reassurance....Give me a "You're Doing A Great Job, April" just because you love me, know me, and can see I need it!

Love me for me. If you REALLY know me, you'd love me! Help me when it looks like I need it. Hug me when my chest cries out for some contact! Offer an ear when I need one to chew off or just whisper in! Know that every intention I have when I set out on an endeavor is a noble, good one! I may not have thought of every obstacle I might encounter, but I'm going to trudge through it....because that's how I am! I may be sloppy in that endeavor and I may not copy your EXACT manner if you were making the same endeavor, but I'll get it done!!

Pray for me...instead of attacking me! I need fervent prayer everyday....everyone does and we are commanded by God to do it! Love me............in spite of Me!!!!